Clogged

Since I entered the blogging world, (by blogging world, I mean started blogging) I have been a dedicated blogger. It was so much fun to think of things to write. I didn't do much with my days at the time of my blogging beginnings. It amazes me that I had so much to write about. I guess that it does go to show that when you have time to think, some good things can be accomplished. Now, when I have so much to write about, and so many experiences, it seems to fall by the wayside.

In a way, it is weird.

There has always been something that I really like. Sometimes I let it define me. In high school, it was extra curricular things. My first year of college, I fell apart and thought that I had lost my definition because I wasn't involved in and leading everything that I possibly could. Then I realized that when you lose your definition, you also find it.

Now I am headed in a direction that I was not planning on. Oh well. I will continue. See if I care that I don't make sense.

After the infamous first year, I had the summer. The summer was defined by work, sleep, and play. I became defined by something more. For the first time, I wasn't defined by what I did. I was defined by what I wanted to be. I am defined by who I am.

Then the blogging came. The blogging represented who I am.

Side note: I love writing posts like this. I pretend to be deep and reflective, but I kind of take it as a joke.... Maybe that is not a good thing. Maybe it is not all a joke. But it is mostly a joke.

Somehow in the shuffle of the transitions, I found my identity, but lost my interests.

It's always a weird feeling when someone asks what I like to do. It almost makes me feel useless.
What do I like to do? Well, I like to talk to people. I like to learn about lives. I like to write on blogs, but that doesn't even happen any more. I like to do my school work and be caught up in school, but who doesn't?! I like hiking, but it doesn't happen very often. I love to sing, but never have to opportunity. I love all forms of music, but can't tell anyone what kinds. I like to create things, but nothing in specific. I love to be active, but not in any specific way.

Ha. I love when I write a paragraph and read it. The one above made me laugh.

So sometimes I feel as though I am doing nothing in my life. School feels like a hamster wheel when you are working on generals. I wonder if the hamster wheel will ever break and finally have an end.

Well that was a really long attempt at an explanation of why I don't blog very often any more. And yet, it wasn't explained.

What it all boils down to is that I have never been more tired in my life. It's unexplainable how tired I feel. I haven't been myself in a long time because of it.

I really shouldn't write posts at three in the morning. No one wants to read this.

P.S. What is weird about the whole thing is that I am content with life right now. Everything just seems to fit lately. It's weird.

But I do need a hobby. Not to define me, but to improve me. Once this tired thing wares off. From now on, it's 9:30 bedtime for this girl during the week.