Ants

Sitting the the library can cause acceleration or deceleration with school work. It never stays the same. Today is deceleration. Well, at least for the last half hour.

Today, I decided to explore what is the other floors of the library. The other floors of the library are magical. I found a big, comfy chair with an ottoman on a newly discovered floor. The big, comfy chair overlooks the biggest parking lot on campus, along with the busy freeway, Utah Lake, and snow capped mountains.

While sitting and looking upon the cars and people rushing to and fro, I can't help but make a comparison with an ant hill. Everyone seems to know the uniformity of walking where told to walk, and stopping when an all powerful car is about to cross their path. The freeway doesn't help the humanistic cause, either.

I always think of the same thing when ascending in an airplane. The people, who turn into specks, have the same ant-like qualities.

Then, it hits me. I realize that all of the specks have brains, feelings, wants, desires, goals, agendas, and plans. Every speck is different. Every speck is cared for. Every speck has a life such as I do.

Every speck matters.

Why are People so Cool?

I believe, for the most part, that people have good intentions. Lately, I have been noticing a lot of things that people have been doing that are, well good. Obviously, this is blog worthy.

Also, the blog is super intimidating lately. It's weird. So I am breaking from my slightly facetious norm and just writing what I am thinking. I don't want to stop blogging because I can't think of anything funny to say.

Back on subject.

I am an avid bus rider in Utah Valley. Did you know that you can get almost anywhere on those things? And if you are a student it is only 40 dollars per year. Talk about a deal. Gas would cost about that much for just a week! 

As I have been a bus trip warrior, I have encountered a vast amount of interesting things. My favorite of which happened on a very snowy evening. 

We were nearly to the stop that I had to get off at. I was dreading getting out of the bus and walking a whole 50 yards to get to my apartment. As I was throwing my silent pity party, the bus made its final stop before the one where I got off. I saw that the bus driver was taking the actions to get ready for a wheel chair. After everything was set, a lady rolled onto the bus. She was completely covered in snow and soaking wet. I immediately began to feel sorry for her was ashamed of myself for thinking that I was poorly picked on for having to walk 50 measly yards to shelter. As she was rolling on, she looked me in the eye, smiled, and said; "I'm the abominable snow man". I was shocked at how much vigor she had. She did not even seem to be phased by the cold that was probably soaking into her bones. 

She has the best attitude I have ever seen.

Another little anecdote happened this morning. I had to go to a meeting at church. As I was walking home, a guy pulled over and asked if I needed a ride. He looked nice enough, and I have learned that when a guy offers to be a gentleman, you wholeheartedly accept. I was thinking that he must be at least 21 to be that mature and considerate, but as him and I were talking, I discovered that he was still in high school. I had never met such a mature and kind person. I know it was a small act that a lot of people do everyday, but for some reason it made my day a little bit brighter.

I want to be like both of these people when I grow up.

Clogged

Since I entered the blogging world, (by blogging world, I mean started blogging) I have been a dedicated blogger. It was so much fun to think of things to write. I didn't do much with my days at the time of my blogging beginnings. It amazes me that I had so much to write about. I guess that it does go to show that when you have time to think, some good things can be accomplished. Now, when I have so much to write about, and so many experiences, it seems to fall by the wayside.

In a way, it is weird.

There has always been something that I really like. Sometimes I let it define me. In high school, it was extra curricular things. My first year of college, I fell apart and thought that I had lost my definition because I wasn't involved in and leading everything that I possibly could. Then I realized that when you lose your definition, you also find it.

Now I am headed in a direction that I was not planning on. Oh well. I will continue. See if I care that I don't make sense.

After the infamous first year, I had the summer. The summer was defined by work, sleep, and play. I became defined by something more. For the first time, I wasn't defined by what I did. I was defined by what I wanted to be. I am defined by who I am.

Then the blogging came. The blogging represented who I am.

Side note: I love writing posts like this. I pretend to be deep and reflective, but I kind of take it as a joke.... Maybe that is not a good thing. Maybe it is not all a joke. But it is mostly a joke.

Somehow in the shuffle of the transitions, I found my identity, but lost my interests.

It's always a weird feeling when someone asks what I like to do. It almost makes me feel useless.
What do I like to do? Well, I like to talk to people. I like to learn about lives. I like to write on blogs, but that doesn't even happen any more. I like to do my school work and be caught up in school, but who doesn't?! I like hiking, but it doesn't happen very often. I love to sing, but never have to opportunity. I love all forms of music, but can't tell anyone what kinds. I like to create things, but nothing in specific. I love to be active, but not in any specific way.

Ha. I love when I write a paragraph and read it. The one above made me laugh.

So sometimes I feel as though I am doing nothing in my life. School feels like a hamster wheel when you are working on generals. I wonder if the hamster wheel will ever break and finally have an end.

Well that was a really long attempt at an explanation of why I don't blog very often any more. And yet, it wasn't explained.

What it all boils down to is that I have never been more tired in my life. It's unexplainable how tired I feel. I haven't been myself in a long time because of it.

I really shouldn't write posts at three in the morning. No one wants to read this.

P.S. What is weird about the whole thing is that I am content with life right now. Everything just seems to fit lately. It's weird.

But I do need a hobby. Not to define me, but to improve me. Once this tired thing wares off. From now on, it's 9:30 bedtime for this girl during the week.

Clomping and Helpful Protein Bars

It has been snowing in Utah Valley. When it snows, that means it is high time to rip out the ugly bulky sweaters and the comfy snow boots. Snow boots are the best invention ever, in case you are not aware. So today I decided to be huge sweater and clompy boot clad.

You see, these clompidy clomp boots that I bought while living in the Rex of bergia are probably my most favorite purchase I have ever made. The first day that it snowed in Bergerville, I went outside in my common, everyday boots. I was so excited for there to be snow on the ground. I stepped off of the curb and  did a full on back flop. I just like to entertain college students, so it was rather necessary. I laid there for a second, looking, as I imagine, like an exceedingly large cockroach turned upside down and scrambling for its life that seemed to be slipping away. After I was done with cockroach time, I flipped over and walked directly back to my bed. Of course, I surveyed the damage before climbing into the sanctuary of the bed. Undoubtedly, my bum was nearly the same hue as the bluish-grayish sky that had dumped that blessed snow upon the blessed ground that gave me the blessed bluish-grayish hued rear end. Oh, the circle of life.

After a nice little nap, I spent a solid hour pouring over numerous online stores in attempt to find the cutest snow boots, with the best grip, at the best bang for my buck. Well it worked. I thought they were so fly. (Today, I understand that they are common, every day boots that do not have super powers. Bummer.)

The day that I got them in the mail, I planned the perfect outfit to go with them to wear the next day. Man, I thought I was a babe.

I walked into the building that I worked in on campus, feeling like the hottest thing to walk those halls. (In my clompy snow boots, mind you. Yeah, sometimes I don't think about what I am doing/feeling.) As I neared the stairs to make my graceful, womanly, colmpy, descent, a girl from behind me told me that she liked my boots. I turned around to graciously accept the compliment, as any proper boot-clad woman would, and I proceeded to turn back around to finish my descent. To my pleasure, I finished it in a wonderful fashion, complete with the dying cockroach pose, because that is what I am best at.

Yeah, I am aware there was no point to this overly detailed story.

In other news, I have a Costco card, which brings me great pleasure, for reasons unbeknownst to me.

While at Costco for the first time the other day, (which is a story in and of itself) I decided that I needed protein bars. I decided this because I leave my apartment at 7:00 am, and sometimes don't get back until after 8:00 pm. Needless to say, my ravenous self crawls, like a tired cockroach, (why am I obsessed with cockroaches today?! And since when can you tell that a cockroach is tired by their crawl?!) to my apartment and eat everything in sight. To prevent this, I thought that I would get protein bars (because peanut butter and jelly gets old and sticky). They're quick, easy and fill you up.

I went to the protein bar area in Costco, and picked up the box that had a picture of the bar that looked the most delicious.

I have been eating one every day. Let me tell you, they are yummy. I noticed that I have been taking trips to the ladies room more than usual. I was curious as to why. Naturally, I decided to check out the protein bar nutrition facts.

SURPRISE!

They are not protein bars. They are fiber bars. Whoops.

Oh well, they taste good.

Also, my bulky, warm sweater is itchy. I am about to rip it off of my body and throw it in the recycle bin. If you see a girl walking about or traveling on the bus in her skivvies in Utah county, you now know why.

Life, Learning, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Is learning a life long experience, or is it complete when your name is read and you pick up a paper that certifies that you are finished?

I would like to submit that it is not, although sometimes it seems as though it is.

Learning should be an adventure.

Learning can, and should, alter the way that a person thinks.

Why, then do we let ourselves believe that it is such a task?

Life is an adventure.

Learning is why we experience life.

There is no way to be happy if we aren't learning something new.

We most certainly are not on Earth to sit around and stare at each other.

Life is an adventure. Happiness is the ultimate goal. Learning is the key.

Personality

Everyone has one, and yet they are different.

That, my friends, is what makes everything beautiful.

Woah

I am realizing that life is so crazy sometimes that you just can't blog. What is sad is that when it is busy, I want to remember everything, so it is rather sad.

Since I am a horrible blogger/journaler, here is a brief run-down.

My roomies and next door neighbors are fandiddalieastic.
My classes are the bomb.com.
This weekend was marvelous.
I love people watching at school.
I discovered WinCo and all of it's WinCo glory.
I realized that I call people my age kids. A lot.
I realized that I have changed my ways since high school and allow myself to get stressed very easily. I mean, how did I not?!
I realized that I struggle hard core in the flirting department. Oh well.
I realized for the ninety and ninth time that English is my favorite subject in school.

That's all.

Love, the Boring Blogger

Beauty and Grace

First of all, before I get into the headlining feature, I am already so stressed. When you walk into a class and a teacher says that it is highly unlikely that you will never get higher than 75% on a test, you know you are in for a real treat. I am not saying that I think that an A should be easy to obtain; on the contrary. I think that at least 5-10% of students should be able to obtain a good solid A. After, of course, those students have worked their full tails off.

Ok, now for the head liner. I know I made a post about this yesterday, but I think that it needed to be expanded upon. If you are a normal human being, you will know that traveling while being sick is one of the most traumatic and embarrassing experiences that one could have.

One of my friends reminded me of this earlier today.

When I was the ripe old age of 16, I was a state officer for a student-lead organization called FCCLA. I was attending a leadership conference with my fellow state officers in Dallas, Texas. This was amazing unto my little sheltered mind (wait.... it is still little and sheltered...). While in Dallas, we ate at an "authentic" mexican restaurant. Let's be real for a second; it was not authentic.

The morning after the restaurant, we were to fly home. I was emotionally and physically drained by the happenings of that trip, and was just not doing so well. While waiting in the terminal, I suddenly felt cold and clammy, and realized that I was about to toss my cookies. I made a mad dash for the bathroom, and en route my advisor caught a glimpse of me. Her face looked shocked, and I knew it was bad.

My advisor is, hands down, the most different/amazing/hilarious person I have ever met. She followed my drunken-legged self to the bathroom and held my hair back while I puked my guts out. After a few minutes the the ol' water closet, I felt much better and my advisor said that I didn't look like a walking dead person.

We then proceeded to leave the bathroom and board the plane. While on the plane, I felt fine! I noted the air sickness bag in front of my face, however.

I made it through the whole flight without throwing up on everyone within five rows of me which, I was concinced, was a modern day miracle.

While we were landing, it hit. It hit in full force, my friends. I was sitting by the window, so I casually grabbed the barf bag and did my thing. While still in the process of doing my thing, other passengers were unloading. I was sitting next to my advisor, and she was not aware of the fact that I was throwing up so much that I was convinced that the lining of my stomach was in that little bag. A passenger who was getting their luggage down basically yelled, "ARE YOU OK?!". Then half of the plane, along with my advisor, looked at me. So much for being discrete. Candace, the advisor, started comforting me and playing the mom role and what not.

After I threw up my esophagus and, I carried my full little paper sack off of the plane, and threw it away in the terminal.

I didn't really have a problem with anyone seeing me; I knew I would never see them again. And all of my co-state officers were some of my closest friends, and I didn't care that they saw me blowing chunks.

That experience eventually blew over.

False.

At the state convention, where the sate officers conducted the meeting with 1,000 people in attendance, Candace pulled a quick one. It was our last meeting as officers, and she was saying a little something about each of us. She spoke of how one person was the hardest worker she has ever met, and how another had become an excellent public speaker. When she got to McCall, she shared the story of how I threw up on the airplane. I hope that you haven't forgotten that there were 1,000 people in attendance of this meeting.

She was telling everyone how graceful and lady-like I was while throwing up, and how my discretion in taking care of  the problem illustrated how my personality was. I know that her real reason in telling the barfola story was so that she could see my face turn as red as the dress that I was wearing, and it did!

Ironic

As I was leaving my last class today, I suddenly fell ill. Sounds dramatic, but I'm talking suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat ill. I felt as though my lunch was going to come up. I hadn't even had lunch yet, but it was still coming!

I found the closest rest room, and set up camp for about a half hour. The amazingly clean floor of the bathrooms at UVU welcomed me with open arms. After I spent some good quality time at camp switch-ends-depending-upon-which-end-I-think-needs-it-more, I decided that I felt well enough to take the voyage to the bus stop. I got on the bus that was sitting there, not even bothering to pay attention to where the bus was going. I knew it had to be going south, and that was all that mattered. 

The first few second on the bus, I was happy as a claim. Well, more like I felt like I had eaten rotten claims, but I was somewhat upright, so life was good. Then, about half way through the bus route, it hit me. You know, the mouth-watering before the food decides it doesn't like it's new home called stomach. My nearly incoherent head somehow remembered that there was paper bags at the front of the bus for this very occasion an purpose. That wonderful head of mine then commanded my legs to drag my torso and the rest of what constitutes me to the front of the bus. I came back to my seat successfully! I sat down and proceeded to dry heave for a good five minutes. Good think I hadn't eaten lunch yet. 

Then, a girl behind me asked if I was ok, and distracted me for a second. It was really sweet of her.

While being distracted, over the intercom I heard the bus driver say that we were at BYU. Eureka! I knew for a fact that BYU had bathrooms, and clean ones at that. 

I also knew that all buses lead to BYU, so my stomach and I silently rejoiced together.

That brilliant head of mine then instructed the drunken sailors called my legs to strut all drunken-like to the bathroom. I set up camp by the toilet for a good 15 minutes. After that, I stumbled to the mother's lounge and plopped myself down on that couch that has the texture of cardboard covered in fabric. Then I slept for an hour and a half while waiting for Annie to get out of class and accompany the drunken sailors home.

I woke up feeling like normal! Those drunken sailors did not stay for very long, thank the drunken sailor heavens. 

I came home and did homework and still feel fine. 

Bodies are weird. I hope my body got the entirety of what ever it was not fond of out!

Something Sad

There is nothing more tragic to me than going to the bathroom, in a public place, while listening to someone throw up.

I never know what to do. I want to ask them if they are ok, and if I can get anything for them, (when I am done going, obviously) but I don't know if that is socially acceptable and I don't want to make them feel awkward since they are already not in the best situation. If anyone knows what I should do in this situation, you should tell me. It has happened to me two times in the last week, and I am guessing that those two times will not be the last with the little flu bug going around. I am praying that bug doesn't sink it's teeth into my poor helpless immune system's skin.

On a completely different subject, I think I decided that they hire professors with english accents so that students are inspired to be more articulate.

Also, I am obsessed with my Philosophy class. My professor has a degree from the King's College in Human Rights and Genocide. HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!?!?!?!?!?! Plus he is the one with an english accent, and he is a total hipster. My friends, I think I have found my favorite professor of all time.

I am obsessed with people watching, too.

I am going to stop writing now because I feel creepy.

Dark Blue

No point to the title of this post. The song Dark Blue played a couple of times at work today, and it has not left my head yet.

I am all moved in and rearin' to go in Provo.

I love my new job. I love my new job a lot.

I love my roommates. Seriously. Great girls.

I love my classes.

Ok, I haven't really started my classes yet, but I love them.

I love my family. I also love skyping my family and making funny faces with/at them.

I am now obsessed with the bus. I love driving, and the feeling of being able to go where ever I desire, when I desire it, but there is something to be said about the bus. I love being able to sit there and think. I also may like to people watch on the bus. Maybe I people watch a little too much.

I came to the realization that I have become rather shy over the course of the last few months. It is a struggle to talk to customers at work. I am gradually learning, though. It's kind of sad when that has to become a constant effort.

Oh yeah, I guess it is a new year! I feel obligated to make goals. Here we go.

1. Be less socially awkward. This entails getting my party on when the occasion permits, being the person who gets to know others and involves them in things, and getting some flirt on. Hard core. That one is rather difficult unto me.

2. Keeping my GPA above a 3.9, and put studying above nearly everything else.

3. Never skip a FHE.

4. Continue to be planner girl/ extremely organized.

5. Really talk with the family at least every other day.

6. Read all of the books I have wanted to read for a while and not waste my time on the popular books. Classic lit, baby.

7. Hike the Narrows in Zion, Mount Timp, or rim to rim of the grand canyon. Hiking the Y= mandatory.

8. Become as healthy as I want to be. AKA eat real healthy food and become a real runner. Learn to love running.

9. Be more considerate of others, in every way possible.

10. Write more and be more in tune with what is going on with the world.

I think that's it. Knowing myself though, I will probably add more later.

Also, I love watching grandmas shop. It's the best.

Actually cancel that. It is in running for the best. The best is when you find leather boots that are exactly what you have been looking for for two years. You think that's great? Well want to know what is even better?! When they are 80% off. So you are then left with 50 dollars more than you budgeted for. That, my friends, is beautiful.

I won't lie to you. I am the campion of finding great sales.

Operation Overload

My brain has officially turned to mush. So many things have happened in the last couple of weeks. I swear my head just barely started spinning, but it feels like it has been spinning for years. Time flies when you are having fun....? Or I guess just when things happen. 

I keep thinking of things that I want to blog about, but then I sit down to do it and all that my brain has to say to the blank post is mush. Right now I can hear mushy brain soup sloshing around in my head. That isn't good, right? 

So maybe sometime this week, after I sleep quite a bit, I will do a real blog post. 

In the meantime, cheap college apartments are hilarious. Chew on that one for a while.